The Google Grinch Googlebot Glitched Santa Away
Copyright 2009 John Salerno

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A new twist on the Grinch Who Stole Christmas. Help Santa Claus get his FREE website to kids around the world. Don't let the Googlebot Grinch steal Christmas! Save Christmas... Help Santa Claus, the Grinch Who Stole Christmas is at it again!

The Google Grinch Googlebot Glitched Santa Away
Copyright 2009 John Salerno

Twas a week before Christmas
When I felt with good cause
Children would search everywhere
For a FREE Santa Claus!

One without credit cards to enter
Nor a payments to mail
In this hardest of years
With budgets so frail

Children and Families like
Alice, Jeffrey and Brett
Were out searching exactly
For Santa-DOT-net

On Google’s first page
On Thursday last week
The Googlebot tuned
And adjusted and tweaked

And when he was finished
On that very same day
He managed to make
Santa-DOT-net vanish away.

It was Thursday morning
With Christmas one week away
That the Googlebot Grinch
Glitched Santa away.

With a flurry of misguided
Zeros and ones
Google’s algorithm stole away
So much free Christmas fun

And there in position seven
Where Santa-DOT-net USED to be
The Googlebot put DOCTOR Nick
Not SAINT Nick you see!

If it’s a cat down in Georgia
You want Santa to spay
Let the Googlbot Grinch
And Google Maps show you the way!

But when people need doctors
For themselves… Or a pet…
Shouldn’t they should dial 9-1-1
For the help they should get?

When kids do a search for “Santa”
It would seem a safe bet
They’re not looking for a doctor
Or an animal vet

Santa appreciates children
Who take care of their pets
And Santa likes doctors
And animal vets!

But when kids search for “Santa”
This time of the year…
They’re searching for Santa Claus
And they won’t find it — I fear.

Children and Families
Just like Mike and Jeanette
Are out searching in vain
For Santa-DOT-net

Created by Santa’s elves
For Children and FREE
Bringing Yuletide cheer
For all children to see

And Visit a reindeer
Or Color a tree
Till the Googlebot decided
It all wasn’t to be

There in position Seven
Where Santa-net USED to be
The Googlebot put DOCTOR Nick, the vet
Not SAINT Nick you see!

If it’s a cat down in Georgia
You want Santa to spay
Let the Googlbot Grinch
And Google Maps show the way!

If each person in the world
Who searched for Santa today
All drove to Georgia
On the very same day

With a cat in the back
Of the family car
Santa’s afraid non of them
Would get very far!

It would be like a bowl
Filled with water and paper
And a flush would bring gushes
From this ill-conceived caper!

This week we all want
To celebrate and sing
Thank goodness Santa.net
Is still there on Bing!

A true Santa website
That won’t sell all the junk
To parents and children
Had its Google rank sunk!

So if what you want to hear
Are sleigh bells that ring
The search engine for the season
Is not Google — It’s Bing.

Like Christmas Past knocking
From Nineteen eighty four
There’s a familiar digital
Voice at my door

The Google Grinch Googlebot
He’s Hal’s friend they say!
The Google Grinch Googlebot
Glitched Santa Away

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So Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, New Year's, etc... Whatever holiday is special and important to you, we hope this site will do its small share to make the world a "smaller" place through promoting a better understanding of all cultures.